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Column - Through the Eyes of Others

TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault and substance abuse are mentioned in the article.

A fictional account through the eyes of a sexual assault survivor.

As Adalade enters the room Bleu is nowhere to be found.

“Bleu!,” Adalade called out, as she started to look around. “Where are you?”

Bleu wobbled out of the bathroom, rapidly closing the door behind her. “I’m right here,” she yelled. Hoping Adalade wouldn’t notice she couldn’t walk straight, she walked over to her asking what was wrong. “What?”

“Bleu you have got to be kidding me right now.” With fumes practically coming out of her head she yelled, “I ALREADY TOLD YOU THE CONSEQUENCES IF I CAUGHT YOU AGAIN! I can’t take this anymore, you need to get help.”

“What are you talking about? I’m fine. Chill out, Adalade,” she giggled.

“Are you serious, Bleu? Do you not care about how your actions affect us? Do you think we want to see you like this? Getting high and drunk every day for no reason? This hurts Bleu,” she sobbed.

“Do you really think it’s for no reason?” she started. “You have no idea what I’ve been through these past few months. I’ve been depressed every single day because of this situation. I went from being at the top of my class to barely being on track to graduate and you think it’s for no reason? I have anxiety, literally almost tried to kill myself, and I can’t even function right anymore. Do you seriously think I’ve been acting like this just because I wanted to? No, I haven’t. This has been a call for help. Can’t you see?” she said as a tear started to stream down her face. “For the past few months I have been through hell trying to figure out how to cope with what has happened to me,” she yelled.

“Please don’t start with this lie again, we're all tired of this fake story that you fabricated in your head. No one has done anything to you” Adalade remarked.

“And this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you in the first place. How could you believe that ‘so-called’ husband of yours over your own daughter?” she sobbed. “You have no idea how having to see the man who raped me has been. And worst of all, I have no one on my side. You should always believe the victim, let alone your own daughter and you can’t even do that? What kind of sick family was I born into? I never thought I would say this but I HATE YOU!” Bleu cried.

“What’s wrong with you? I can’t believe I birthed such a worthless human being. No one cares about the fake story that you created in your head and for all I care, you can hurry up and get out of my house” she said with a smirk on her face.

“No, I’m not letting you win this time. He needs to leave. He raped me and if you can’t believe me then this will be the last you ever see of me. It’s either me or him.”

“Bleu, I’m not doing this with you right now. Please get your stuff and leave,” she sighed.

“Sit down, Adalade,” she ordered.

“Please Bleu, I don’t want to dea-”

“SIT DOWN NOW” Bleu cried. “Since you don’t believe me, I’m going to make you. That night he came into my room while I was sleeping and covered my mouth. As soon as I opened my eyes he started playing with one of my curls and told me what he was about to do. Tears started to stream down my face as I tried to yell, but it was no use. The entire time he made comments on how much he loved my small frame and even compared me to you. And worst of all, once he was done he said if it weren’t for the shorts he saw me in earlier this wouldn’t have happened.”

Her voice cracked as she cried and said, “He made it seem like it was my fault even though I never did anything wrong, and you have the audacity to choose him over me?”

Right at that moment, Easton walked through the door.

As tears streamed down her face Adalade yelled, “DID YOU DO IT?”

“Do what?” he said looking confused.

“Don’t play dumb Easton, did you rape her? This has gone on way too long please just tell the truth,” she cried.

“Listen. This is all a misunderstanding.”

“Just answer the question,” she pleaded.

“I can’t answer that question, Adalade.” Which to Adalade was answer enough.

If you have or are experiencing sexual abuse, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.